I am emotionally unstable when I play badminton. -.- These days, I usually play with guys, cos it's kinda hard to find girls to play with. When I play with people worse than me, I get my confidence, I play better and better the whole day. It's kinda like the positive feedback thing. BUT, when I play with better people, and then when they start to smash in my face, I get demoralized. And I will just play like whatever crap the whole day. Maybe it's just because I don't have a Li Ning racket that's all. :P

I think I'm addicted to doing laundry, and I have to do in secret whenever my housemates are out because I do too many times! Please tell me 2-3 times laundry per week is not too much. One of the reasons is because I play tennis on Wednesdays, then badminton on Saturdays and Mondays, I have loads of sweaty clothes! And I don't use the air conditioner as much as my housemates do, so I use the dryer to compensate. :D

Responding to Wan Ying's question, I do go back Alor Star pretty often I guess. So here's my latest schedule, I just bought my tickets. :D

2/7 - 5/7 
30/7 - 1/8
20/8 - 22/8

And, most of the time, I will be flying to or from Penang! :D OK, I know I spend a lot of money on flights, BUT, that was the point of studying in Singapore, so I can go back often. :D Hahaha.

Wan Ying, when will you go back to US?

WOOOT!!! I bought The Sims 3!! The original one, mind you. :D

Haven't played Sims for like 8 years? Hmm. Muahaha. Sinfully entertaining.

Sinful because it's SGD50! -.-

Didn't get any results on my gel again. BUT! Three hours of badminton, and a computer game to play with. Life couldn't be any better. Tralala...

I am bored. Haven't felt this way since a long time ago. Bored as in I have nothing to do, like absolutely nothing. Have been reading for the past hour or so. Watch a movie online? I don't really feel like it. I'll clean up the apartment tomorrow morning. Then maybe I can go to lab on a Sunday, just so I won't be so bored. Is that how a PhD student is supposed to feel? I doubt it.

I think I'm getting better at procrastinating after I became a PhD student. Does it apply all the other students as well? One thing's for sure, PhD students snack like nobody's business.

You know, when I have a bad day, I know exactly the remedy in curing it. For example, whenever I have a breakout, or my pores are clogged, I will just imagine how would the people who have skin disease feel. If I were to complain in front of them, how would they feel? See, whenever you have something bad happening to you, just think of the people who are in a worse situation than you are in. I feel lonely sometimes, and I make a big fuss out of it. But when I come to think of it, there are people who are even lonelier. They don't have friends to talk to, and they are even boycotted by their own colleagues! I am in a way better position compared to these people. Though I'm not on talking terms with some of my friends, who used to be kinda my best friends before this, but still, I still do have quite a few friends who are on talking terms with me! :) In short, just be grateful in life ok?

I write on my blog, I own a diary, I post random comments on FB, and there's even a gChat status. I think I'm leaving droppings all around.

Wuhoo. New look for my blog! I'm getting more and more random these days. Guess it's true about the Permanent Head Damage thing. :D

I think lonely people write on blogs. Lonelier people stalk FB. Desperate people post things without any meaning on FB, just so people will comment, and so they can pretend that they have friends attending to them.

Played tennis for two hours plus. Extreme tiredness.

Haven't been here for a while, and people have started to spam my comment box. Hmm..I wonder if people are still waiting for me to write stuff. I realize nobody ever update their blogs anymore these days. Hah. I usually get inspired to post stuff again after I see a good blog, which is what is happening now.

Oh ya, you know, we are ultimately alone in this world, so get used to it.

The GRE Word

Definition of "apathy" : absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement; lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.

Which aptly describes how I feel now.

I lost all hope and dreams, but I don't feel disappointed.
I don't feel happy, nor do I feel sad.
I don't love or hate, nor do I feel being loved or hated.
I'm not angry, but I am not calm.
Even when I spend a lot, I don't feel a single thing. Not happy nor sad.
I don't feel excited over things I used to like to do. I don't dislike things that I used to hate.
Even with people that I was angry with, I don't feel anything towards them anymore. It's like I'm above everything. I don't care what people say or do.
I'm not depressed, don't get me wrong. But I'm not passionate with life either.

My mind/heart is really numb. I just do things because I have to do it. It's more like a routine. It's like I live just because I have to live. This has been going on for a few weeks, maybe after Chinese New Year. Apparently, people feel apathy after they have undergone something traumatizing. So did I went through that? I doubt so. But is it normal to feel apathy?

老鹰

看着在天空中盘旋的老鹰
使我对自由，有种莫名的渴望
我也希望我可以飞翔
离开所有的人我是非，
所有的你死我活

This is Where I Live Now

Wow. It has been a shocking one month since the last post. Have been too lazy busy I guess, driving to Penang a few times, playing badminton, making kuih, doing CNY decorations, and other small and tiny things that happened at home.

Well, I am officially a PhD student right now! :) Studying in NTU (hope I won’t change my mind anytime soon :P). Things have been going smoothly so far, minus the fact that it’s hard to make new friends anymore. Umm, I have to travel at least 45 minutes to get to school everyday, and the reason is just because I’m taking advantage of free accommodation, provided by my cousin brother. :D He has been sent to Singapore by his US company as an expat for half a year, and they pay for his accommodation. And his apartment has two rooms, so you know la. Hahaha. It’s located at the centre of Central Singapore, just so you know the rental. Heheh. OK, pictures of where I live. :)

So this is the building from the outside. I think it has a total of 75 floors.

The name is The Sail @ Marina Tower, address is 2 Marina Boulevard.

This is the lobby once you enter the building’s front doors.

These are the buttons available for you to press in the elevator.

This is the night view from the apartment building. You can see the Esplanade, the Merlion, the Fullterton Hotel etc landmarks from here. Too bad the picture is too small.

The three buildings make up the upcoming The Sands Casino and Hotel.

This is the living room. The apartment comes furnished.

This is my cousin’s master bedroom.

This is my room. They even provided the sheets, which coincidentally matches with my laptop! Note the sliding doors, my room doesn’t have a real door. =.=||

This is the kitchen. The refrigerator is inside the cupboard, which I think is a very “unwise” (I shouldn’t use too uneducated words, just in case I get kicked out from the apartment) design. You have to open two doors to get to your food. And the clothes rack is really destroying the effect of the picture. I should’ve taken it away.

This is the dining table.

And this is a bad picture of the bathroom. It doesn’t show anything, I know.

Oh ya, I didn't take pictures of a really cool gym they have, spa, yoga room, FOUR swimming pools and two tennis courts. OK, the place is air-conditioned, so it actually doesn’t feel like I’m in some tropical hot + humid country. And the apartment is filled with Ang Moh’s, really. OK, so you’ve seen my living quarters, what do you think? Just so you know, it costs a whopping SGD4,700 per month.