A New Day Has Come

2nd June
Woke up to a very cold morning in the living room on the squeaky futon. Started packing. It was basically taking out everything from the bags and putting them back again, minus the heavy stuff which I've dumped into Huey Shann's bag. Lunch was bak zhang from the previous day. I had 'students', ie. Siew Gee, Jason, Wei Ping and Billy, learning how to wrap bak zhang from me. :D

Dinner was Madras Masala. I never realize how expensive it was until I footed the bill for my 'students' plus Pei Ying. Next was La Dolce Vita for dessert. I ordered key lime parfait, which was the biggest mistake in my life. Well, second big mistake, if you know what my biggest mistake was. :P The key lime parfait was WAY TOO SOUR that it was torturing. Sigh. Didn't do anything special on my last night at Ann Arbor, apart from the fact that I turned into a cat and was killed by curiosity.

3rd June
Woke up to a very cold morning in the living room on the squeaky futon, again, for the last time. Last shower in Ann Arbor. Last laundry. Packed up everything. Last bank and post office visit. Then went to No Thai! for lunch. First and last time I finished a plate of Pad Thai Curry Noodles all by myself. Got myself a driver to drive me to the airport.

On the way, I actually felt sad to leave Ann Arbor. I was trying to memorize everything I saw that day. Bubble Island where we used to hang out for a million times. Pinball Pete's where we always played pool and DDR. Starbucks which I bought green tea frap during my cram-for-exams periods. UGLi, a noisy and dirty library which I've grown to like. University Towers, a very run down apartment building which I've lived in for a year. The Biomedical Science building, which is made entirely out of glass. It was a pity I never got to work there. :( I was afraid that I might forget how Ann Arbor looked like. College years was the best time of my life, well, minus some undesirable incidents. Good memories created, good friends made, good life experiences gained. I am missing Ann Arbor this very second. It is so very ironic, that it was my own decision to leave Ann Arbor early, and then missing it when I left it.

Waited for 5 hours at LAX. It was not nice. I reached LAX at 7pm Ann Arbor time, which is already 10pm LA time. I had my dinner that time, which was a vegetarian burrito that was pai chiak until I suddenly missed panchero's. The flight departed from LAX at 1.40am LA time, which was already 4.40am Ann Arbor time!!! That was the time that I felt really jet-lagged. I didn't sleep until I went onto the plane, which was about 5am AA time. -_-

4th June
Reached Taipei airport. Brought back memories of when I first went to USA to study three years ago. We took a MAS flight, transitted in Taipei as well. The memories were beautiful.

5th June
I looked out of the window. Palm oil trees. Landed in KLIA at 12pm. Filled out a form saying that I embarked the plane from a WHO declared H1N1 infected area, the USA. Surprisingly, nobody did any checks on me in the airport. No temperature check, no quarantine, no nothing. Boarded a 1.55pm flight from KLIA to Alor Star.

I looked out of the window. Paddy fields this time. I am back on home soil! It was a freaking 34 degrees celcius. I came back from a place with -20 celcius winters, a 50 degree difference!

Did some unpacking. Slept at 9pm.

6th June
Woke up at 5am. Went for a haircut. It's real short now. Hehe.

And this marks the new phase of my life. I am officially a university graduate now. I am nervous about what lies ahead of me. I am not sure which path to take, and what each path offers to me. I hope this long break from studying will actually let me think over things. Goodbye Ann Arbor.

The Irony of Being Alone

I have become incredibly sensitive, I realized. Small changes that interrupt my everyday routine trigger enormous emotional fluctuations. Those who are close to me, physical and non-physical, will realize this. I have begun to do things that I don't see the point of doing them. I've said things just to purposely hurt people's feelings. I start to dislike things that I've enjoyed doing previously, for example watching drama series. I've stop talking. I am starting to become another person already. I am not myself anymore.

At times, I feel so ironic. As much as I enjoy being alone, I want to talk to another person. When I'm around a bunch of friends, I long for the times when I'm alone. And when I'm alone, I start to crave talking to another person. It's like I want to leave Ann Arbor, yet at the same time, I still want to stay. When I see the sun is out, I so want to go outside to soak up the sun. But when I'm out there, the heat makes me feel so tired.

I guess my emotional imbalance started because I have too much free time. Hopefully it'll cease after I leave Ann Arbor, a place which I've grown to like and dislike at the same time...

This Too, Will Pass

In the midst of preparing for my final exam, I suddenly thought of something to write. I still don't know whether I will end up publishing this though, cos I just realized I have five drafted posts which I never got to publish it. By the way, this Monday, I will be having my final final exam! My last ever exam I take as an undergraduate! I'm taking Cell Biology's final exam, a class that I've come to like, but I still don't think that I'm able to handle its difficulty level. I am predicting/hoping for a C+ at least for this class. *fingers crossed*

Okay, I as my title says, I want to talk about "This too, will pass". This phrase was taken from a story Ajahn Brahm told in his book, "Opening the Door of Your Heart". He's a famous Buddhist monk from England, currently residing in Perth, Australia. He graduated from Cambridge with a degree in Physics.

So whenever you are angry with a person, just tell yourself, this too will pass. Think of good memories you had with this person, and think of all the good things this person has done for you. Forget about the negative stuff, take a deep breath, and slowly, the anger will go away. And if you can't think of any good things you shared with this person, then this person is not even worth your time to be angry with.

This phrase can actually be applied to happy situations also. It reminds you that even you are very happy, having incredible moments of your lives, this too, will pass. Nothing is permanent in this world. Things come and go, and so do human lives. So be reminded that not to be so caught up with things, and let go when you are supposed to. Being happy or sad is actually in our own hands, it is controlled by our own perspectives of seeing things.

This too, will pass, can actually be applied to our studies as well. When we are too stressed with exams, tell yourself, "this too, will pass". Go get yourself a bubble tea, take a deep breath, take a shower, then only continue studying. I am proud to say that I am not so stressed out with my studies anymore. Yay! I mean compared to my first two years of college. Or maybe I'm getting lazier?

I used to be good with controlling temper, for the time period between when I was 10 up to when I was 20 I think. Recently, my temper flares easily. I need to remind myself how I ugly I look when I lose my temper. Actually, all the above applies to me as well. :P So this post serves not only as a reminder to readers, but also to myself. :)

Alarm Clocks

Recently, I do not wake up to my alarm clock anymore. I shut off the alarm without me knowing it. I sleep more these days, which is 8 hours, and still feel tired during the evenings. I'm supposed to wake up at 6am to study, but when I open my eyes, it's already 8.30! I used to do 12am-6.30am sleeps during Fall semester, what happened? :( I wonder what is wrong with myself. Cell Biology exam 3 in another 45 hours...

Of Committing Suicide...

How would you feel if someone committed/attempted suicide because of you?

This question has been troubling me for a while.

Guess heart-breaks are not that easy to be healed eh?

Of Car Accidents..

Nini, remember we said we wanted two people dead in a car accident?

The next morning after you called, I saw a dead squirrel died in a pool of blood in the middle of the road. It was squashed, smothered, renyuk, kemik,FLAT. *puke*

I want to officially take back our curses.

Don't know..

I have recently thought of closing down this blog. One of the reasons being I don't have time to update, and whenever I feel like writing a post, it will be too personal. Also, I DO NOT HAVE ANY COMMENTS! No comments means nobody is reading, nobody is reading means I don't need to write anymore. Writing a diary serves the same purpose if nobody is reading. But then, I feel that there are some friends who don't stay close to me need updates about my life, for example, friends who live in Australia. :P Don't know, I'll just keep this blog, but yes, there will be less posts.

I recently feel like a clown. Everybody sees me as an entertainer, a person who is so amusing. I am seen as a person who tells A LOT of dirty jokes, a person who is happy-go-lucky. But will anybody understand what pain I go through inside? How many people are there who truly understands what I want and strive for? How many people understand why I make such decisions? How many people understand why the hell I want to graduate early, when I can stay back and take fun classes while enjoying JPA's allowance?

I am recently watching a Taiwanese series, called Bai4 Quan3 Nv3 Wang2, it's lame, but it's kinda funny. I could use a good laugh these days. Taiwanese series always leaves people with the feeling that how wonderful falling in love can be, and that how perfect can a love life can turn out to be. What rubbish.

But still..Sigh..Don't know..