I am emotionally unstable when I play badminton. -.- These days, I usually play with guys, cos it's kinda hard to find girls to play with. When I play with people worse than me, I get my confidence, I play better and better the whole day. It's kinda like the positive feedback thing. BUT, when I play with better people, and then when they start to smash in my face, I get demoralized. And I will just play like whatever crap the whole day. Maybe it's just because I don't have a Li Ning racket that's all. :P

I think I'm addicted to doing laundry, and I have to do in secret whenever my housemates are out because I do too many times! Please tell me 2-3 times laundry per week is not too much. One of the reasons is because I play tennis on Wednesdays, then badminton on Saturdays and Mondays, I have loads of sweaty clothes! And I don't use the air conditioner as much as my housemates do, so I use the dryer to compensate. :D

Responding to Wan Ying's question, I do go back Alor Star pretty often I guess. So here's my latest schedule, I just bought my tickets. :D

2/7 - 5/7 
30/7 - 1/8
20/8 - 22/8

And, most of the time, I will be flying to or from Penang! :D OK, I know I spend a lot of money on flights, BUT, that was the point of studying in Singapore, so I can go back often. :D Hahaha.

Wan Ying, when will you go back to US?

WOOOT!!! I bought The Sims 3!! The original one, mind you. :D

Haven't played Sims for like 8 years? Hmm. Muahaha. Sinfully entertaining.

Sinful because it's SGD50! -.-

Didn't get any results on my gel again. BUT! Three hours of badminton, and a computer game to play with. Life couldn't be any better. Tralala...

I am bored. Haven't felt this way since a long time ago. Bored as in I have nothing to do, like absolutely nothing. Have been reading for the past hour or so. Watch a movie online? I don't really feel like it. I'll clean up the apartment tomorrow morning. Then maybe I can go to lab on a Sunday, just so I won't be so bored. Is that how a PhD student is supposed to feel? I doubt it.

I think I'm getting better at procrastinating after I became a PhD student. Does it apply all the other students as well? One thing's for sure, PhD students snack like nobody's business.

You know, when I have a bad day, I know exactly the remedy in curing it. For example, whenever I have a breakout, or my pores are clogged, I will just imagine how would the people who have skin disease feel. If I were to complain in front of them, how would they feel? See, whenever you have something bad happening to you, just think of the people who are in a worse situation than you are in. I feel lonely sometimes, and I make a big fuss out of it. But when I come to think of it, there are people who are even lonelier. They don't have friends to talk to, and they are even boycotted by their own colleagues! I am in a way better position compared to these people. Though I'm not on talking terms with some of my friends, who used to be kinda my best friends before this, but still, I still do have quite a few friends who are on talking terms with me! :) In short, just be grateful in life ok?

I write on my blog, I own a diary, I post random comments on FB, and there's even a gChat status. I think I'm leaving droppings all around.

Wuhoo. New look for my blog! I'm getting more and more random these days. Guess it's true about the Permanent Head Damage thing. :D

I think lonely people write on blogs. Lonelier people stalk FB. Desperate people post things without any meaning on FB, just so people will comment, and so they can pretend that they have friends attending to them.

Played tennis for two hours plus. Extreme tiredness.

Haven't been here for a while, and people have started to spam my comment box. Hmm..I wonder if people are still waiting for me to write stuff. I realize nobody ever update their blogs anymore these days. Hah. I usually get inspired to post stuff again after I see a good blog, which is what is happening now.

Oh ya, you know, we are ultimately alone in this world, so get used to it.

The GRE Word

Definition of "apathy" : absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement; lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.

Which aptly describes how I feel now.

I lost all hope and dreams, but I don't feel disappointed.
I don't feel happy, nor do I feel sad.
I don't love or hate, nor do I feel being loved or hated.
I'm not angry, but I am not calm.
Even when I spend a lot, I don't feel a single thing. Not happy nor sad.
I don't feel excited over things I used to like to do. I don't dislike things that I used to hate.
Even with people that I was angry with, I don't feel anything towards them anymore. It's like I'm above everything. I don't care what people say or do.
I'm not depressed, don't get me wrong. But I'm not passionate with life either.

My mind/heart is really numb. I just do things because I have to do it. It's more like a routine. It's like I live just because I have to live. This has been going on for a few weeks, maybe after Chinese New Year. Apparently, people feel apathy after they have undergone something traumatizing. So did I went through that? I doubt so. But is it normal to feel apathy?

老鹰

看着在天空中盘旋的老鹰
使我对自由，有种莫名的渴望
我也希望我可以飞翔
离开所有的人我是非，
所有的你死我活

This is Where I Live Now

Wow. It has been a shocking one month since the last post. Have been too lazy busy I guess, driving to Penang a few times, playing badminton, making kuih, doing CNY decorations, and other small and tiny things that happened at home.

Well, I am officially a PhD student right now! :) Studying in NTU (hope I won’t change my mind anytime soon :P). Things have been going smoothly so far, minus the fact that it’s hard to make new friends anymore. Umm, I have to travel at least 45 minutes to get to school everyday, and the reason is just because I’m taking advantage of free accommodation, provided by my cousin brother. :D He has been sent to Singapore by his US company as an expat for half a year, and they pay for his accommodation. And his apartment has two rooms, so you know la. Hahaha. It’s located at the centre of Central Singapore, just so you know the rental. Heheh. OK, pictures of where I live. :)

So this is the building from the outside. I think it has a total of 75 floors.

The name is The Sail @ Marina Tower, address is 2 Marina Boulevard.

This is the lobby once you enter the building’s front doors.

These are the buttons available for you to press in the elevator.

This is the night view from the apartment building. You can see the Esplanade, the Merlion, the Fullterton Hotel etc landmarks from here. Too bad the picture is too small.

The three buildings make up the upcoming The Sands Casino and Hotel.

This is the living room. The apartment comes furnished.

This is my cousin’s master bedroom.

This is my room. They even provided the sheets, which coincidentally matches with my laptop! Note the sliding doors, my room doesn’t have a real door. =.=||

This is the kitchen. The refrigerator is inside the cupboard, which I think is a very “unwise” (I shouldn’t use too uneducated words, just in case I get kicked out from the apartment) design. You have to open two doors to get to your food. And the clothes rack is really destroying the effect of the picture. I should’ve taken it away.

This is the dining table.

And this is a bad picture of the bathroom. It doesn’t show anything, I know.

Oh ya, I didn't take pictures of a really cool gym they have, spa, yoga room, FOUR swimming pools and two tennis courts. OK, the place is air-conditioned, so it actually doesn’t feel like I’m in some tropical hot + humid country. And the apartment is filled with Ang Moh’s, really. OK, so you’ve seen my living quarters, what do you think? Just so you know, it costs a whopping SGD4,700 per month.

Of Kuih..Kapit This Time :D

Wuhoo! Pictures and kuih again! :D But unfortunately, I took the pics with my mum's camera phone, so they aren't so clear. Nevertheless, introducing today's main actor ---kuih kapittt! :D

We started everything in the morning at around 7.30am, took an hour's break at 1pm, then continued until 5pm. It was really really tiring, but it was really satisfying.


This is my second time holding the molds. Apparently experienced kuih-makers hold 7 molds at a time,but I was doing very well with 5. :) My mum said she thought I could only manage 3. -_-" OK, that is my aunt beside me. She is responsible for folding the kuih. So the person who folds the kuih has to be fast, and his/her fingers must can withstand the searing hot of the kuih. Once it cools down, it will turn crispy already. So it must be folded twice while it's HOT. *Note the lady statue accompanying me at the back. :P

So after it cools down, they will be lined in the jar. Apparently current market price is RM18 for one plastic jar like this.

Wuhoo! End result. Total of 13 jars of kuih kapit with 1kg of rice flour, 40 eggs, sugar and five coconuts' milk. :)

Of Kuih..

Hu hu hu...I'm gone for so long! You must be curious what I have been doing all these while, right? Haha. Before my cousin went to Singapore, it was badminton and tennis everyday with him. After that, Fiona's turn to disturb me. Hang out, work out, and not to forget, we made kuih! :D Here are some photos to make you salivate. Hehehe.

Pineapple Tarts

The jam, which took about two hours of stirring on the stove. I used to use canned-crushed pineapples, this is my first time using fresh pineapples.

Pastry. This is the way people do it when they make tarts to sell. I have an insider teaching me this time. :P Roll out the pastry on a piece of plastic so it won't stick to the chopping board. Use a special rolling pin to make the pattern, then cut out equal shapes using a plastic knife.

Wuhoo..The tarts when they're done. Apparently they taste better than those sold outside! Oh ya, the insider taught me to add a special ingredient to the pastry -- milk powder! I was surprised too.

Ok, this is Fiona's attempt to make Mickey out of raisins and the pastry. I know, it's scary.
Anyways, biggest accomplishment here, I've managed to perfect my pastry! It's flawless now. :)

Ang Koo

This is me using brute force trying to stir-fry, then crush the green bean paste.


This is the first Ang Koo out of the mould. It doesn't have color because we didn't put any.

Ang Koo after we steamed it! Ok, I know, it looks yellow. We put in sweet potato, so the color changed. Haha. My accomplishment here is I managed to make the skin to stay soft until the very next day!

Kuih Kapit

Sad to say, I didn't take any pictures. But kuih kapit was fun. Anyways, we plan to do it again, hopefully I can take some pictures this time. :)

Of Hong Kong and the Hair

So this is the VERY famous Buddha statue on Lantau Island, Hong Kong. Lantau Island is called 大嶼山 in Cantonese. The name is always mentioned in Hong Kong soaps. The aunties always say that they are going to 大嶼山 to 拜佛吃斋, now doesn't that sound familiar? Apparently, the Buddha was placed there to stop the typhoons from attacking Hong Kong. Note His hand.


And tadaa....

The picture of my hair at last. It doesn't usually look like this actually, I usually have it waxed. The wind kinda messed it up because I didn't have hair spray on. But still, this is how I look like with short hair now.

And note the tiny Buddha statue in the background. :)

And, because it takes a hundred years to load a photo with the internet connection in Alor Star, I've only managed two. :(

The Art of Shutting Up

Argh! I'm so frustrated. Why doesn't anyone listen to what I say? Or maybe I'm too strong in wanting others to follow my way. All I can do is shrug. And also, I've learned that there's no use in arguing, or even to reason. Most of the time, the best way is to just shut up.

The Movie

I went to watch 2012 last night. I was supposed to watch the 6.15pm one, but when I arrived there, it's already 6.25, so I decided to buy tickets for the 9.15pm one. There are three halls showing the same movie and the same time, yet all the tickets were sold out! Now that is shocking! This is Alor Star and it was a MONDAY night. 0.0 So me and my friend decided to wait for the reserved tickets to be released. We stood there from 8.15 until 8.45 just to get two tickets. I was getting frustrated.

The movie was good, in fact, it was really good. It made me want to cry throughout the movie. It wasn't the effects that attracted me, nor was it the plot of the movie. It was the fact that our Earth is going to undergo drastic changes, changes that will cause a massive wipeout of the human population. I'm not going to write too much about the movie, in case some of you still haven't watch it. All I have to say that the movie really serves as a reminder to all the humans on Earth that we're destroying the planet! We're like torching our own house! It's so hard to get people to understand that our planet is getting more and more sick, and Mother Nature is really angry with us.

There was once I told a friend, we should really cut down on the usage of plastic bags. Unless you're going to reuse them, don't take plastic bags from the grocery stores! If you know you're going to throw them away, why take them? You're creating a piece of rubbish just for five seconds of convenience! OK, so this friend, I told him we should use less plastic bags, he replied "I'm just not that recycle kind of person" So when are we going to take responsibility?! When are people going to realize that just one small change in your daily life, you're doing the Earth a favor! And the most ironic thing is, we live on the Earth, yet we're destroying it!

Well, I think the wait for the tickets was really worth it. And I realize that my ability to express myself in writing is deteriorating. :(

Uh

Uh..Sorry for posting then deleting the previous post. It was too obscene, I realized.

Apart from that, I realized too that it actually hurts when somebody hates me. Wow.

Extraordinary Pantene Commercial

People, check out this piece of commercial in Youtube.




Anyway, it's super cool. But I think it deserves to be something better than a shampoo commercial.

当

当你有很多事情要做，但却只有很少时间。
当你有很重要的决定要做，但却不知该从何下手。
当你遇到很多逆境，但你任何的处理方式却得不到任何人的肯定。
当你有一箩的朋友，但却得不到他们的支持。
当有很多人在你身边，但你却感到无比的寂寞。
当你有其他朋友也在面对难题，但你却帮不上任何忙。
当你看到好朋友也在痛苦里挣扎，使你觉得你没有任何资格在这里抱怨。

Time Flies

Time flies, really. Today, I was asked to do a favor by going to Intec Seksyen 17 to collect transcripts. Driving along that familiar exit from Kesas Highway really brings back a lot of memories. When I reach Intec, a HUMONGOUS white building that says "Perpustakaan" greeted me. I remembered we used to go to that tiny, run-down library, where the floors are made from wood planks that creaks when you walk on it. I used to go there for a nap during lunch time. And the most memorable one was when we filmed our ghost movie there. It has been three years since I last saw Intec. Intec students now are so lucky, with that huge library to use. I suppose the air conditioner works better than the old one. So in order not to let the Mak Guard tahan me, I wore a jacket. IT WAS REALLY HOT. I wonder how we tahan-ed for a year like that last time.

Then I proceeded to drive around Seksyen 18, where the unforgettable Akasia dorms stand. That place really changed in 3 years. Last time it was only Esso petrol station right? Now they have three petrol stations in total. Behind the station, it's a really really huge Mydin supermarket. Next to the petrol station, is a newly erected mall called Ole-Ole Seksyen 18. -_-" Anyway, the mall has a bowling alley, Secret Recipe, and other decent shops. But don't worry, our favorite Giant still stands. :D See, Intec students now are really lucky. Last time, we had to borrow a car, drive to this unknown place in downtown Shah Alam for a piece of Secret Recipe cheese cake.

And then, to feed on to my nostalgic afternoon, I decided to have lunch at our even more favorite restaurant, Sri Keningau. I sat down and ordered Nasi Pattaya. Too bad they don't serve it for lunch, so I walked out again. :P Anyway, we used to love eating at this place, and not to forget the burger stall in front of it. Ayam Special Cheese. :D Walking past the 7-Eleven, I remembered last time we were sweating too much because of the jacket, so we always went to 'tumpang' 7-Eleven's air conditioner! Haha.

I remembered on the first two days of arriving at Intec, I told Pui Yeen that I will burn all my long sleeves and baju kurung in front of the guard house on the day I leave Akasia. But now, I have to admit that I do miss our Intec days....

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry to those who gave me advice, which I ignored.
I'm sorry to those who opposed to my way of thinking, which I obviously ignored.
I'm sorry to those who said I was stupid, which I again ignored.
I'm sorry to those who looked up upon me, but I left them disappointed.
I'm sorry to those who put hopes on me, but I didn't perform as I should.
I'm sorry to spend so much money, which I didn't deserve.
I'm sorry to be so naive and rash, which I didn't realize before this.
I'm sorry to have created this mess.

I'm sorry, because I just resigned.