Definition of "apathy" : absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement; lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.
Which aptly describes how I feel now.
I lost all hope and dreams, but I don't feel disappointed.
I don't feel happy, nor do I feel sad.
I don't love or hate, nor do I feel being loved or hated.
I'm not angry, but I am not calm.
Even when I spend a lot, I don't feel a single thing. Not happy nor sad.
I don't feel excited over things I used to like to do. I don't dislike things that I used to hate.
Even with people that I was angry with, I don't feel anything towards them anymore. It's like I'm above everything. I don't care what people say or do.
I'm not depressed, don't get me wrong. But I'm not passionate with life either.
My mind/heart is really numb. I just do things because I have to do it. It's more like a routine. It's like I live just because I have to live. This has been going on for a few weeks, maybe after Chinese New Year. Apparently, people feel apathy after they have undergone something traumatizing. So did I went through that? I doubt so. But is it normal to feel apathy?
