Salted Peanuts

Sitting on the quite uncomfortable seat of a MAS flight from Alor Star to Kuala Lumpur, I was munching away with two packets of salted peanuts in my hand. The salted peanuts made me think of my father. He used to work in KL, coming back only once every weekend. Everytime he takes the MAS plane, which is the only airline operating in Malaysia at that time, he would bring back at least a packet of peanuts for each of us kids. Although it wasn't any big of a deal, it was one of the memories I shared with my father during the days I grew up.

My father was a strong character, who never complained about the hardship he went through. He worked in KL since I was a year old and continued until I was in secondary school. After that, he went on to India, and also to Qatar, to supervise some jobs. Never I hear him complain about being lonely. That was the sacrifice my father made, to ensure that we have enough food to eat and clothes to put on. He went through the sweat and blood, the loneliness of living abroad, the sacrifice of not being able to spend so much time with his wife, kids and family. He was the hero of the family. Now that my father has accomplished so much, and brought much luxuries to my life, I ask myself, what sacrifice did I make? And what sacrifice do I plan to make? What exactly is the purpose of living this very life? What should I do so my father didn't work his butt off for nothing?

I've been sheltered from the wind and the rain all throughout my 22 years of life. I reckon that I'm the one who can withstand the most physical pain among us siblings, but what about emotional pain? I've been producing a lot of whining and complaints recently, and also signs of not being able to let go. I'm not handling problems like I should. I'm not as matured as I thought.

Quoted from the Duke University website:"Graduate work takes time and patience, a fierce commitment, and the willingness to make many personal sacrifices."

Will I be able to acheive my dreams? How much do I have to sacrifice?