Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Irony of Being Alone

I have become incredibly sensitive, I realized. Small changes that interrupt my everyday routine trigger enormous emotional fluctuations. Those who are close to me, physical and non-physical, will realize this. I have begun to do things that I don't see the point of doing them. I've said things just to purposely hurt people's feelings. I start to dislike things that I've enjoyed doing previously, for example watching drama series. I've stop talking. I am starting to become another person already. I am not myself anymore.

At times, I feel so ironic. As much as I enjoy being alone, I want to talk to another person. When I'm around a bunch of friends, I long for the times when I'm alone. And when I'm alone, I start to crave talking to another person. It's like I want to leave Ann Arbor, yet at the same time, I still want to stay. When I see the sun is out, I so want to go outside to soak up the sun. But when I'm out there, the heat makes me feel so tired.

I guess my emotional imbalance started because I have too much free time. Hopefully it'll cease after I leave Ann Arbor, a place which I've grown to like and dislike at the same time...

2 comments:

  1. Don't worry.. Those who are close, will understand it. Everyone will have the same kind of feelings at some point in everyday life. Right? And I believe, you have tried to control yourself...

    I can't wait for you to be home! Although we might not be able to meet up...
    You have about 6 days left in Ann Arbor. I hope you will enjoy the few days left k?

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